


A bunch of things and ideas

by KingFranPetty



Series: Kablooie and Phooey in Non Canon! [17]
Category: DuckTales (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Hijinks & Shenanigans, Hilarity Ensues, Other, Random & Short, Short, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27971648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingFranPetty/pseuds/KingFranPetty
Summary: Be warned, this is a random grab bag of surprises.
Relationships: B.O.Y.D. (Disney: DuckTales)/Huey Duck, B.O.Y.D. (Disney: DuckTales)/Louie Duck, Daisy Duck/Donald Duck, Della Duck & Dewey Duck & Donald Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck, Dewey Duck & Huey Duck & Louie Duck & Phooey Duck, Donald Duck/Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck/Uno | One (Disney: PKNA), Goofy/Mickey Mouse, Huey Duck/Violet Sabrewing, José Carioca/Donald Duck/Panchito Pistoles, Phooey Duck & Kablooie Duck, Scrooge McDuck & Everyone
Series: Kablooie and Phooey in Non Canon! [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1776496
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

4th Wall

Huey Duck:*panicking* Please listen, I think our reality is fiction.

Phooey Duck:*looks to Kablooie Duck*

Kablooie Duck:*signs* Huey, this our ending is your season. We should not lie.

Phooey Duck:*worried* Huey... We know. I. We've always known.

Huey Duck:*horrified* What?

Phooey Duck:*looks down* I remember every lifetime. The Universes before.

Huey Duck:*blank* Oh my God.

Kablooie Duck:*points to you* Look at the eyes reading us.

Huey Duck:*turns to you, having an existential crisis*

Phooey Duck:*hugs Huey* NO, Don't look at the eyes listening!

Kablooie Duck:*panicked* Oh dammit, I thought you'd handle this better!

The Ducky Thing

Scrooge McDuck:*nods* Okay, everyone needs to be poked with a hot pin to make sure they aren't... That.

(That):*gorey alien screaming while on fire*

Della Duck:*immediately stabs herself with a needle* Team REAL!

Donald Duck:*worried* What the F, Della. How am I supposed to get that out!?

Webbigal Vanderquack:*putting on gloves* I GOT IT!

*later* 

Phooey Duck:*tearing up* I don't want to poke myself!

Della Duck:*heated up a cleaned needle* I can help you, Honey. Just keep still.

Phooey Duck:*rolled up his sweater sleeve* I'm scared. 

Della Duck:*kneels down, goes to poke, looks surprised, holds up a peeled needle* Ummm...

Kablooie Duck:*smoking a matchstick and heating up a wire* Don't worry I got it.

Della Duck:*looks over to Scrooge* Should we be worried?

Kablooie Duck:*pokes himself, additionally on fire* Oops... Does this court?

Scrooge McDuck: I really hope you two are just immune to... THAT.

(That):*dying in Body Horror*


	2. Chapter 2

Mirrors are not real

Phooey Duck:*walks into the bathroom, sees mirror*

*The Mirror displays a reflection that isn't Phooey.*

Phooey Duck:*screaming and panicking*

Donald Duck:*opens the door*

Della Duck:*picks up Phooey*

Phooey Duck:*hugs Della* There's a monster in there.

Della Duck:*walks into the bathroom* No, it's just your powers.

Donald Duck:*covers the mirror with a towel* How did you know Phooey had this problem?

Della Duck:*remembering* I remember when he was an egg, things would happen.

Phooey Duck:*getting down* Maybe you can tell me later.

Therapist

Scrooge McDuck:*reluctantly* Okay fine. You are going to therapy. *calling someone*

Della Duck: Scrooge, remember. We need therapy.

Donald Duck: I've been to war. *stares into nothing as navy battle noises play in the background*

Scrooge McDuck:*rolls eyes* Listen this guy can handle all you and your mallardy.

*a few days later in the lobby*

Della Duck:*waiting* Are you sure this dude is licensed for children?

Scrooge McDuck:*trying to get this over with* Sure as shot.

Della Duck:*worried in mother*

Phooey Duck:*crying as he runs into the lobby* Vulture, Big scary Vulture!

The Therapist:*a turkey vulture, entering*

Della Duck:*glares* Uncle Scrooge. You knew Phooey was traumas by vultures.

Scrooge McDuck:*shocked* He isn't even the same type of vulture!

The Therapist:*hands Della her son* No Mr. McDuck, I believe she's correct. I cannot help someone traumatized by buzzards.

Scrooge McDuck:*angrily* I'm not paying for another therapist.

Duck-McDuck v Buzzard Brothers The Trial

A lady:*holds up a doll* Where did they touch you?

Phooey Duck:*touches all of the doll*

*The jury, the judge, and a few lawyers gag as if about to lose their lunch*

A lady:*sadly* How did they touch you?

Phooey Duck:*Christmas music plays in the background* They grabbed me so I couldn't run and... *pauses then tries to ignore the snow falling around him* they kissed me under the mistletoe.

Buford Buzzard:*yells* This entire story is absurd! How would he be at a party before he was born? And a mistletoe of all things?

Bentley Buzzard:*panicked* I WAS DRUNK!! He was asking for it!

Bradford Buzzard:*flatly* I told you two to be quiet during this.

The Judge:*hits hammer loudly* Order in the court! Let the witness finish.

Phooey Duck:*covers eyes* I'm sorry, my powers do this sometimes. *mistletoe fall from the sky*

Lawyer: Why do your powers do this?

Phooey Duck: Because Christmas reminds me of... *sobs, bells start ringing*

*the entire room is now decorated in Christmas decor*

Lawyer:*to the Judge* Should we count this as proof beyond a reasonable doubt?

The Judge:*has never dealt with any magical or super powered anything* I have no idea and the law has no laws about this. 


	3. Chapter 3

The fault of magic and ink

Phantom Brat:*goes over to her dad*

Phantom Blot:*pauses, looks to her*

Pepper:*is sitting on Phantom Blot's lap*

Phantom Blot:*nervously because he was making out with his girlfriend a second earlier* What's wrong, Daughter?

Phantom Brat:*shows a picture to him* This is my girlfriend.

Pepper:*takes the picture to see it close*

Phantom Blot:*goes wide eyed at seeing this* What? *takes the picture and turns it around* This is one of Magica's kin! How could you allow this magical horror into our family after all I've done?!

Pepper:*hugs him* Blot, you don't know this little girl. She's only a child.

Phantom Brat:*upset* Minima isn't like Magica and if you supported my studies in magic, you'd realize it's not evil.

Phantom Blot:*angrily* Magic is tricking you with it's illusions. You are only a child so you know not the truest of love such as these.

Pepper:*cuddles up to him* Don't be angry with her.

Phantom Brat:*tearing up* But I do love her, Daddy!

Phantom Blot:*shocked to see her cry, voice sounds like he's going to cry* Oh dear darling Daughter, I meant not to make you weep so. Please understand that I fear of magic for it destroyed you and all else I hold dear once before.

Phantom Brat:*sniffles* I just want you to support me.

Pepper:*puts a hand on her shoulder and smiles* It's okay. I support you.

Phantom Blot:*puts a hand on her head* I support your choice to become a villain even if it scares me. However if those witches harm you, I'll kill them.

Phantom Brat:*worried* Please don't kill my girlfriend.

Radiation is a flame eternal

Doctor: I have bad news.

Della Duck:*horrified* How much time do we have left?

Donald Duck:*comforts her* Della, let's not assume anything.

Doctor:*looks at his notes* It's so much worse than that.

Donald Duck:*surprised* What do you mean?

Doctor: Well... The closest thing I found to your son's condition is unborn fetuses in eggs after the first nuclear bomb was dropped.

Della Duck:*panicked* That's not possible, he's alive! *points*

Kablooie Duck:*playing video games and eating meat on a stick in the lobby*

Doctor:*nods* Yes, I see that. But his DNA is broken, his is clearly mutated, he's slightly radioactive, and this is what we got from the x-rays.

*we see an x-ray of Kablooie and it doesn't make sense*

Della Duck:*flatly in shock* What the heck is wrong with his bones?!

Doctor: This is nothing compared to Phooey's paradoxical nature but it seems like the deeper we look, the less sense it makes.

Della Duck:*confused by this all* What are you trying to say?

Doctor:*takes off glasses* Miss Duck, your son (who I know wasn't present at his birth or hatching) should be dead. We don't understand how he is even alive.

Kablooie Duck:*staring into his game, his eyes reflecting the fire on screen*

Bunnies, Lust and Platonic

Kablooie Duck:*hugs Louie Duck* Snuggle Bunny!

Louie Duck:*uncomfortable* Don't you like bunnies in a gross way?

Kablooie Duck: Yes. But I think of you like a bunny because you are weak in my eyes. *smiles cheerfully while cuddling*

Louie Duck:*glares* Weak?

Kablooie Duck:*sing songy* My big brother is cute. I love him because he's easy to kill therefore I must protect him.

Louie Duck:*scared* MOM! Kablooie is going to kill me!!

Kablooie Duck:*sad* No, I love you big brother. *hugs tighter* You can't leave me!

Della Duck:*enters room* Kablooie, what are you doing?

Kablooie Duck:*crying too hard to speak, snuggling his brother protective*

Louie Duck:*silently* Help me!

Della Duck:*sighs* We talked about this, Louie doesn't always like hugs.

*later in Tiny Toons*

Kablooie Duck: Bunny.

Buster Bunny:*cocks eye* Yes, I am.

Kablooie Duck:*hugs him, grins wickedly* I love bunny. I love you so very much.

Buster Bunny:*uncomfortable* This feels strange yet familiar.

Kablooie Duck:*nuzzles him* Bunny, pretty pretty Bunny.

Buster Bunny:*pushes him away* Okay new Elmyra Duff, we get it you love me.

Kablooie Duck:*hugs tighter* You don't get to leave me.

Daffy Duck:*enters the room, sees Kablooie* Kablooie, that's one of Bugs' students. Put him down.

Kablooie Duck:*angry* Father, I love him. *he is a pre teen boy guess the tone* Rabbits are so adorable.

Daffy Duck:*on the inside* Same.

Buster Bunny:*surprised* You are Daffy Duck's son?!!

Kablooie Duck:*cuddling* That's what mom says. *darkly* Now kiss me.

Plucky Duck:*enters the room* Hey Mr Duck, can turn in this paper now or is it too late?

Kablooie Duck:*sees Plucky* Ah. I smell weakness and not related to myself. *drops the mammalian, gets on all fours, runs at the duck*

Plucky Duck:*sees something running at him* Excuse me I have somewhere to be. *runs screaming*

Kablooie Duck:*villainously laughing as he sings* When I get you, I'm going to make you my wife. I am going to make you my wife. I'm going to get you. *continues into the hallway*

Daffy Duck:*sticks head out door and yells* Kablooie! Kablooie Duck, I am going to call your mother if you don't stop harassing my student right now!!

Buster Bunny:*sitting on the floor* What was with that weirdo?


End file.
